And they lived bipolarly(?) ever after

Once upon a time there were two "princes" who ruled over the land of Pizzeria. Pizzeria was once a peaceful place, where people got along merrily and work was done in good nature and cheer. Then the princes took over Pizzeria and things began to go sour.

These princes weren't your ordinary princes, whom we envision as handsome and charming...quite the opposite indeed.

The first and oldest prince, Prince Freak, was prone to violent outbursts when things were not going his way and would pitch a fit at the first inkling of turbulence. When a Pizzerian went to the prince for advice or for help, the prince often blew up and went into a vicious tirade for no apparent reason. He would yell at guests of Pizzeria, when all the guests wanted to do was learn about the kingdom. Plus, this prince was a big dork.

The second prince, Prince Loser, was more up and down. One minute he would have the kingdom in stitches and the next he was berating them like children. He could go from laughing and joking to scolding and humiliating in the blink of an eye. He may then be extremely mean for the rest of the day...or he could perk right up and be fine again.

Prince Loser was on a huge power trip though, after Prince Freak made him the "Prince On Duty" while Prince Freak was away. Prince Loser was so ecstatic that he could hardly contain himself. His love for the power and the glory increased tenfold.

One day, while Prince Loser was minding the kingdom, the people had finally had enough and there was an uprising. Prince Loser shouted "You little insignificant wretches of Pizzeria...how dare you rise up against me. You have no sense. You couldn't survive without me, yet you Pizzerians are completely replaceable. We don't need you here...new citizens will not be hard to find!!"

Yet, many people throughout the lands knew of Pizzeria and of the unstable princes. No one would ever want to live under their rule, and the people of Pizzeria knew this. After hearing this threat countless times, the Pizzerians had had enough.

A joyful procession made their way out of the kingdom just as Prince Freak returned from his journey. Prince Freak was aghast and asked "What is the meaning of this? Where are our people going?" Prince Loser replied "They have abandoned their city and their loyalty to Pizzeria. Those people are not worthy of being called Pizzerians. We shall search the lands to find new residents."

And so it was. Prince Freak and Loser searched the country far and wide for new residents, but to no avail. The word had spread about the Princes and no one was willing to go to Pizzeria. Not even the downtrodden or diseased.

In the end, the two Princes ruled a peopleless kingdom and became quite fond of each other (ie: gay) and fought constantly, as two crazies would.

And so it is....

Well, my grandfather passed away today. It's been rough going for the past week or so. In the end though, it was better that he go peacefully, which he did.

We spent much of the past week with him at home, just being near him. His best friend was there, his family, everyone who knew and loved him passed through their doors. I know that even though he wasn't "with it" the majority of the time, he knew we were there, and that was comforting. It was difficult seeing him like that, confined to bed and not being able to do anything for himself.

He was always a strong man, worked right up until the end. He was independent, was in love with his college football team whose every games he never missed. If he could have and if we would have let him, he would have been at their game on Saturday. He still had a little fight left now and then and really wanted to get up, but it's better for him now....he's peaceful.

He lived a long, meaningful life and had lots of fun and had so many who loved him. It's sad to see life come full circle but inevitable nonetheless.

We are all doing well and have the love of our great family to get through this. Unfortunately this means no trip to Austin for me...but there will plenty more ACL shows and only one time where I will get to pay tribute to a man who had such a profound impact on me and the people around me. As I was typing this, I heard his name on the news..."Mr. Aggie" they called him. What a great tribute they did to him. The college is donating memorabilia so that his family can do what we knew he'd love...come decked out in the school colors.

He will be missed but always remembered.

I'm a schizophrenic and so am I

I am the absolute worst, I mean worst, at trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. As it stands right now, I've decided to say see ya to Palm Springs and hello to Phoenix. I just didn't want to live in Palm Springs and the one person I'd be near would be my ex. I mean, we're still friends but that just puts me in a situation I probably will regret. SO, Phoenix it is. My sister has contacts up the wazoo and we are going to find me a job there (I know what you guys are thinking...yeah right, because so far nothing has happened with me;) It just seems like there's always something.

Well, on another note....my 94 year old grandfather is going downhill pretty quickly. Yes, I am sad, but he has had a long great life. He went code red on Monday night but they brought him back. He's a trooper, that one. I don't know how much longer he can last, but I'm just trying to enjoy the last bit of time we have with him.

And lastly, I don't know what the hell I did but I woke up yesterday with the WORST neck/back/shoulder pain. Pain so bad it made my stomach hurt. I went to my massage therapist friend's house and she made me ice it and then she tried to get out the knots. It helped for a bit but I was in so much pain last night I could even sleep. Still hurts like a son of a bitch. Can't really turn my head either way or do anything. If I just sit here and don't move it hurts.

So, those are my latest gripes and revelations. I really do need like a life guide, something like the monopoly cards that tell me exactly what to do and when to do it. Or like a magic 8 ball that really works. My life would be so much easier. Maybe I'll go get my palm read or have cards done or something.

Tips from a waitress

Yeah, waitresses...er, I mean "servers" give tips too. But more like in the form of advice. Here they are in no particular order.

1. If I ask you if you're ready to order, be ready. Don't say "yes" and then say "Sally, what do you want? Well, what kind of pizza do you have?" That's annoying and it wastes my time.

2. If I ask for your drink order, that means all I have time for right now is drinks. Don't say "We're ready to order" when you see that I have 3 other tables that just sat down and there are beads of perspiration on my forehead.

3. If one person asks for something, you'd better damn well speak up if you want some too. Don't wait until I go get it and come back to your table and then say you want one too. That pisses me off.

4. Don't ask if we have free refills.

5. Don't ask the price of EVERYTHING, that's what the fuckin' menu is for.

6. Don't drink your drink so fast when you see the restaurant is busy and it's obvious I'm the only person working. You do that and you just better be prepared to be thirsty.

7. Don't ask for something and then not use it.

8. Don't tell me that I'm the greatest server in the world and then tip me $2 on a $60 tab. You suck.

9. Don't say "hey lady" when you want my attention.

10. Don't change your mind 30 times and make me scratch out the whole damn ticket.

11. Don't talk on your cell phone when it's time to order and ignore me and make me wait.

12. Don't ignore me and talk to each other when I'm trying to get your order.

13. Don't act like you're the only table I have...you're not and I'm not gonna fuckin' put up with it.

14. Don't walk in the restaurant 5 minutes before closing, order a bottle of wine and stay for an hour and a half AFTER we're closed.

15. Don't bitch that I'm sweeping near your table when you're still sitting there after we've been closed for an hour and a half.

16. Don't try to beg us to serve you another drink AFTER we've given last call...and we've been closed for an hour and a half.

17. Don't be shitty when you want to order more food AFTER....you know the drill.

18. Don't call in the middle of a rush to order food to go and then ask about everything on our menu.

19. Don't blame me when the kitchen messes up your food.

20. Cut us some fuckin' slack....after all, we ARE the ones who handle your food;)

There's plenty more where that came from...but seriously, if you've never worked in a restaurant it's not easy and it's pretty thankless. Remember, tips are our livelihood...we get paid shit by the hour.

Thanks for playing!

Opportunity Knocks?

Do I answer?

Dilemma:
I received a call from a friend in California whose mother works for a homebuilder. Great company. She needs someone to come in and do marketing, scheduling, etc. (more details to come) and it's good pay to start with a great opportunity for advancement and more moeny in the near future...in Palm Springs.

Not my first choice for a city to live in, but the opportunity is great.

Now, what's been driving me nuts is...well, me I guess.

I can't decide if it's ok for me to leave. My mom, that is. I know she would never want to hold me back from a great chance, but there's this "thing" nagging at me. What if something happens and I'm not here? What if I regret the time that I'll lose with her if I leave? What if...what if...what if?

I'm on the fence here and I don't know what to do. There's nothing (jobwise) for me here. I haven't been able to find anything worth anything, so this is the perfect chance right? Or is it right?

If only there was something or someone that could tell me what was the right thing to do. I'm bad at making decisions like this. I'm a Libra...we're good at being indecisive.

I just don't know. Any words of wisdom out there for a confused, unemployed, indecisive girl with a lot on her mind?