Thursday, September 22, 2005

And they lived bipolarly(?) ever after

Once upon a time there were two "princes" who ruled over the land of Pizzeria. Pizzeria was once a peaceful place, where people got along merrily and work was done in good nature and cheer. Then the princes took over Pizzeria and things began to go sour.

These princes weren't your ordinary princes, whom we envision as handsome and charming...quite the opposite indeed.

The first and oldest prince, Prince Freak, was prone to violent outbursts when things were not going his way and would pitch a fit at the first inkling of turbulence. When a Pizzerian went to the prince for advice or for help, the prince often blew up and went into a vicious tirade for no apparent reason. He would yell at guests of Pizzeria, when all the guests wanted to do was learn about the kingdom. Plus, this prince was a big dork.

The second prince, Prince Loser, was more up and down. One minute he would have the kingdom in stitches and the next he was berating them like children. He could go from laughing and joking to scolding and humiliating in the blink of an eye. He may then be extremely mean for the rest of the day...or he could perk right up and be fine again.

Prince Loser was on a huge power trip though, after Prince Freak made him the "Prince On Duty" while Prince Freak was away. Prince Loser was so ecstatic that he could hardly contain himself. His love for the power and the glory increased tenfold.

One day, while Prince Loser was minding the kingdom, the people had finally had enough and there was an uprising. Prince Loser shouted "You little insignificant wretches of Pizzeria...how dare you rise up against me. You have no sense. You couldn't survive without me, yet you Pizzerians are completely replaceable. We don't need you here...new citizens will not be hard to find!!"

Yet, many people throughout the lands knew of Pizzeria and of the unstable princes. No one would ever want to live under their rule, and the people of Pizzeria knew this. After hearing this threat countless times, the Pizzerians had had enough.

A joyful procession made their way out of the kingdom just as Prince Freak returned from his journey. Prince Freak was aghast and asked "What is the meaning of this? Where are our people going?" Prince Loser replied "They have abandoned their city and their loyalty to Pizzeria. Those people are not worthy of being called Pizzerians. We shall search the lands to find new residents."

And so it was. Prince Freak and Loser searched the country far and wide for new residents, but to no avail. The word had spread about the Princes and no one was willing to go to Pizzeria. Not even the downtrodden or diseased.

In the end, the two Princes ruled a peopleless kingdom and became quite fond of each other (ie: gay) and fought constantly, as two crazies would.

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