The human bulldozer

That's right...step right up. Hurry hurry! You've never seen anything like this before folks. Come one, come all to witness the phenomena that is "The Human Bulldozer"!!

She paves the way so her (insert rude word) ass can get through any spot, tight or not!!
She shoves and pokes, get out of her way!!
She mumbles "excuse me" without really meaning it to get by!!

This, my lovely friends, is this dumb ass beotch that I work with. It's only once a week that I'm grazed (yes, grazed) with her presence. This girl... damn I kinda wanna punch her in the face. But only enough to let her know that she's annoying me and everyone else at work. She's rude, she's bossy, and she's downright uh.... well just a freakin' bitch.

For example, here I am in the middle of a slammed Friday night, getting my drinks for a table...minding my own business when she comes plowing through. There's no waiting for her, oh no...throw patience to the wind! And she walks right up behind you...and pokes you in the freakin' kidneys with her stupid finger three times. UGHHH! That pissed me off!!!! Then, next time around, she does the hand on the back thing, but not nicely...it's a definite shove. And it's not just me...one of the other girls gets pissed and tells her to back off. To which the bulldozer replies "Dude, just chill." Uhh...I'm so not your "dude". You and I...we're not on "dude" terms, k? Thanks.

So (and she's a hostess at the restaurant and this is part of her job) I tell her "The kid at table 6 spilled his coke, could you please get the mop?" She looks at me a bit defiantly (even though I said it as nicely as possible) and goes over there. I walk by and say thanks and she says "Yeah, you should be thankful." To which I reply "Excuse me?!?!" And I get a "Just kidding" all snotty like. I about knocked her damn look off her face. But I don't think that people in the restaurant are fond of bloodshed... at least not til after they're finished eating.

I mean, whatever she is doing is automatically the most important thing in the world and you have to clear a path or she'll clear it for you. I mean, common courtesy is when I and someone else are about to cross paths...I pause so they can go ahead. Her? Oh no...there's no courtesy pause. She'll knock you down, I swear it. I honestly don't even think I'm doing her justice with my description. It's unbelievable. There are times when I know I'm not in her way but she plows through me just because. It's like "I'm gonna be walking in that area in like 20 minutes, so excuse me!!"

And while I'm on the subject of the nuts at work....here's a little tidbit from the owner of the restaurant. He's like a jekyll and hyde. One minute he's calm...but if you piss him off....talk about Sybill! And let's just say he's not really what you and I like to call a "people person". He told this old man to go to hell. Actually...I take that back, he didn't tell him....he screamed it at him. I mean, the old man was being a jerk and it was pretty funny, but shit...see what I have to deal with;)? He's thrown money back at people and told them to get the fuck outta there, he called this man an alcoholic, pretty much a nut.

So, I had to vent a bit...but it actually is pretty funny. All of it. Entertaining to say the least...plus the money is sweet. Damn people are crazy!