Barefoot socks "friend's mom"

That's the search term that brought someone to my blog. Uhhh....what in the hell does that even mean? What was that person really looking for? And how in the hell does that phrase occur on my blog? Don't know really. I was also found when someone searched for the "50 states and capitals"...I don't even remember posting about this stuff. Anyway...

Once upon a time there was an annoying little girl. This annoying little girl (ALG) just happened to be in the same movie theatre as Princess BelKel(name changed to protect the innocent) when the princess went to see a certain movie... we'll call it War Stars. Now, by the behavior of ALG you would think she showed up at the theatre solo (no, not Han Solo...Sans Han, wtf am I talking about?) but in fact, ALG was with annoying-mother-who-doesn't-pay-attention-to-her-kid-and-lets-her-cell-phone-go-off-in-the-middle-of-the-movie (here on known as AM) and grandfather. ALG spent the ENTIRE movie hopping up and down the stairs near princess BK and her friend. Sliding down the railing. She had on those damn shoes with the lights that flash on and off. She was making noise. I have never wanted to hurt someone so badly in my life. Fantasized about saying to AM "Oh, you got your tickets for free?" AM "No." "Well neither did I...so tell your kid to sit down and watch the movie or leave!!!" It was one of the worst experiences of princess BK's life and I've never seen anyone as stupid as AM. The End.

This is the story of Subway man. Subway man pissed me the hell off today. See...I drive into the Subway parking lot and this bastard zips right in and parks next to the spot I was going for. No biggie right? Wrong. He parked so bobbed up that I couldn't get into the space next to him. So, Subway man gets out of his car, decked out in black turtleneck, black pants, and black jacket (it's over 100 degrees today, wtf?) and holds his hand up for me to stop so he can walk in front of my car. Yep. The nerve! So then I park way far away and walk in the smoldering heat to whet my appetite. Get in and of course he's in front of me, taking FOREVER!! Not only that, but he got the last of the wheat bread and they had run out of turkey! Who the hell runs out of turkey?! Of course, that was the sandwich I wanted and Subway man got the last of those. Then, of all the tables in the entire Subway that were open...he takes the table by the window, the one I always sit at when I eat there, the bastard. I hate Subway man.