Hell phone

Dear Cingular Wireless (formerly AT&T),

I hate you. You are the bane of my existence. If your automated little beotch asks me one more time for my name, phone number, and last 4 digits of my social security number, I will go ballistic.

Why is it that when I need something simple done, you make it so difficult? God forbid I have some issue more complicated than how many minutes are left on my plan.

You see, I called today in the hopes that after you bought out CrapT&T, things might be a bit better. I see you kept their employees...or at least managed to find another couple hundred different idiots. Either way, you suck. Thanks for that. All I wanted was a new phone. That's it, no mas. My phone sucks terribly and I'm in dire need.

What was I required to do in order to get a new phone? Hmm...I haven't even gotten that far and have been on the phone with your Customer Care, E-Store, Financial Resposibility Transfer Dept (WTF?), and Online Order Department (which is different from your E-Store how??). I managed to finally get the account in my name. That's it.

See, every person I spoke to was either rude or stupid and frankly I have patience for neither. Unfortunately, I don't currently have the however much it costs to cancel your suckvice. You've managed to get a firm grasp on what would be my balls if I were a guy and keep me locked into this contract one way or another.

So, I'm going to keep your service with your shitty "Customer Care" reps (although you should change the name to Customer, I don't Care) because I currently am stuck. And I'm most likely going to end up paying for another phone that will suck in about 2 months. And I'm going to be pissed about it. But just know that I'm spreading the word and that I hate you. I hate your rotten, stinking guts.

Yours hatefully,
Customer shackled to your service for life