Funk day

Yep, I've renamed hump day funk day because I'm in a total funk today. I have a heavy heart and am totally wondering what I'm going to do. I know we've been through this before, but I guess the realization of letting "JJ" go is really freakin' me out. I mean, all the time I think I really want to do it. I can't keep doing this to myself, or to him now that I'm the one with the ball. It's just sad. Am I going to regret it later? What if I just can't do it right now(be with him), but what about in 6 months? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? I feel so sad and I don't know what will make it better. Is the sadness because I know I have to say goodbye or because I know I shouldn't? You guys all told me you've been through something like this, did you have a happy ending? Do you regret the end you had with the person? My head is all over the place on this and it's making me a little dizzy. I can't be in limbo anymore, with the phantom boyfriend that lives in a different state. I've got an email from him, just blaring out at me and an open invitation to tell him what I want to do. The question is, what do I want? Am I just being nostalgic and wishy washy? I just always thought he was the one, and the one I end up with after all is said and done. I'm in such a funk.