Coffee or a machine gun?

Wow, what a morning! So, I spent the night at my parents' house last night because it was closer to where I was at the end of the night. My best friend has lived across the street from my parents for my whole life. So here I am getting ready for work when I hear "BANG BANG BANG" on my front door. I sat there, a bit confused, and see my mom go to get the door. At that precise moment, my phone rings and I go to answer it. Now, if there's one thing I can count on, it's that my friend knows what's going on at my house before I do. So, I pick up the phone.

Her: Hey...uh what's going on at your house?
Me: What? Why? I don't know. still a bit asleep
Her: Go to your front door. Something's goin' down.

So, I get up to go to the door and happen to glance through the window out the back door. There's about 7 men outside in the back yard with machine guns. No, you didn't read that wrong. I said machine guns. WTF?!?!?! So, I run to the front door...hair wet, not dressed yet, no make-up...and there are about 10 (what I can only assume are) agents standing at our door. My mom is talking to them and I can't really hear what's going on. I'm thinking..."I hope to God there wasn't some speeding ticket I didn't pay or something. Did I do anything weird last night?" Yeah, freakin'. Plus, I don't want to go to jail in pajamas with wet hair and no make-up.

All the while I'm standing staring at the guys in our backyard who are staring at me. I'm kinda scared to even move because I don't want them to open fire like they do in the movies and start destroying the house. So, my mom finally finishes up with them and shuts the door. I think "AH Thank God! If they wanted me they would have come in and gotten me!" Of course, I knew I hadn't done anything, but something like that'll make you think long and hard.

Turns out they were there to arrest my ex-brother-in-law for non-payment of child support. Um, now why would my ex-brother-in-law who hadn't paid child support be living at my parents house?? I mean, the whole thing was that my sister didn't know where he had disappeared to and was trying to find him. Her lawyer had just had a breakthrough, he'd said. He had found her ex-husband. Uh...can we say duh? So much for the lawyer knowing where to find him.

Let me tell ya, machine guns in the morning work a helluva lot better than coffee.