Recycled implants, dumb laws in my city and state, and for that special someone you met at the bar

Remember that famous case where the stripper got sued for giving a guy whiplash by putting her enormous breastesses in his face (me neither)? Now you can buy one of them!! And you thought these weren't reusable.

Did you know that in Texas:
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
One must be acknowledged as a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
And in my city:
Appearing in public places wearing a "lewd dress" is prohibited.
Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."

This is in case you were just too drunk to remember.