The city that always sucks...

This is my city. It's home, has been for the majority of my life (except those 2 years I moved to California to live with "the-one-who-finally-thinks-he's-the-one-but-now-I'm-not-so-sure") but it's like a vortex...a black hole even. Everyone who grew up here knows that of which I speak. No matter what, if you get out, if you move away for 10 years, you always end up back in El Pisshole. I mean, it's not THAT bad. It's got a personality all of its own. This is my city:

You're from El Paso if....
You can only name two seasons: Summer and Christmas.
You think that it only snows if it was at least 75 the day before.
You cringe whenever you see yellow license plates.
You get sunburned and wind burned in the same hour.
Taco Tuesdays at La Hacienda!
You get sick of your friends from other cities asking if you have indoor plumbing.
You don't go near the Rio Grande. Ever.
You think that anyone who lives on the west side drives a beamer and all the people on the northeast are gangsters and people on the eastside are recycled Mexicans.
You buy beer on your way to work.
The only national monument you have been to is White Sands.
You have a least four T-shirts that have "In loving memory" on the back.
Rib Hut Wednesdays!
You know the difference between ya'll and all ya'll.
You're Hispanic...but all you can say in Spanish is your name and "Hola".
Your barbecue grill is a disc.
Western Playland is the place to be in the summer.
You have actually fried an egg on the sidewalk in July.
You invest a great deal of money in hair spray in the spring.
You love a good Whata-burger.
The only thing you stocked up on for Y2K were tortillas.
The phrase, "Hi Dick" are your child's first words.
You think the rest of Texas doesn 't know El Paso exists. (This means you Austin!)
You know what all those letters on the mountain stand for.
You can see three different states and two countries from your backyard.
The first place you go when you come back in town is Chico's Tacos.
If you are lost in Juarez at night, you can always find your way back by looking for the star on the mountain.
Seeing the Asarco tower gives you that warm and fuzzy home feeling.
You have talked about leaving for ten years, but you are still here.

Ahh...home crap home.