Riddle me this

Riddle #1
A voice said to you "Coconuts, $5 a dozen" With your lightning quick arithmatic you calculated that if you sold those same coconuts to the coconut air assault team for the going rate of $3 per dozen that in no time at all you would be a millionare. When I met you 15 seconds ago you told me the words you've just read. I ain't trying to be nosy but now that you've drug me this far, explain your math or quit lyin' and tell me your TRUE financial status!


Riddle #2
You're sitting at a bar, an explosively-dank hole in Funky Town USA.You have an award that says, most likely to be the character in a riddle . . . looking around your attention finds a small chair with a mobile entity covering it with it's lesser half . . . It speaks, you hear "Glass of water please . . . " You see the bartender examine the seated man for a moment. He then reaches under the counter and pulls out a shotgun point-blank in the man's face. The seated man speaks again "Thank You" he says, and walks out of the bar . . . why did the man get what he needed?

Any takers??